Confessions of My Boobs

My boobs have come along way in today's society. They have the compulsion to confess and share the journey from vanity to a divine life source.

Although this might sound silly I personally think that today's young women need to be educated and informed on what the possibilities are for the future of their bodies and not what they see on TV, in a magazine or on the internet. When I was a teenager the internet had not exploded yet. Magazines and TV was were you saw the models and actresses that adorned the perfect bodies. I was the teenage girl that so wanted to be them no matter what it took. My breast were average and so was I. Once I became a young adult I was addicted to be have the look. I also had a corporate job that helped motivate me. As I worked hard in my early twenties I came to a point where the job meant having the look and with vanity in complete control of my ego I decided to get breast implants. Although I vowed never ever to do it, there I was at a plastic surgeon asking about the procedure. The first statement out of my mouth was I want to breastfeed. He reassured me that implants done under the breast muscle are the best way for overall look and no complication with breastfeeding. Looking back now I find it humorous yet sad to think that I choose to manipulate my body yet I was conscious of the fact that I wanted to something healthy long term. I was a breastfed baby and grew up with the believe that babies were meant to breastfeed and it was the best and healthiest thing to do. As a babe I did not have a bottle or pacifier and was told I wouldn't take either, only the breast. I chose to have saline breast implants and went from a 34B to a 34DD. My mother was appalled that I felt compelled to do this. Nothing was going to change my mind. This was one of the worst choices I have made in my life and probably the one thing I regret the most. However I have not had any complications and for that I am grateful.

The years past and I was skinny with long blonde hair and big boobs. Until I moved to an island and changed careers. I worked on a boat as Scuba Dive Instructor and the big boobs led to a lot of sexual harassment that I could not handle. I quit and took labor intense jobs such as landscaping & cleaning houses. The big boobs led to big back aches. I pushed on.

When I met my now husband and discovered I was pregnant I was advised to start reading up on breastfeeding and the mechanics of my boobs as they were going to be making milk and providing a life source. My once perfect surgically enlarged breasts were going to go on quite an adventure.

Before my son was born my midwife said that I would have porn star boobs after the baby was born. I laughed her off. After my son was born I literally has porn star boobs, I'm talking 36G porn star boobs. And they were painful. From the surgery my milk ducts were a big cramped which led to insane engorgement. Hot compress, massage the breast, nurse baby, frozen cabbage with the occasional grated ginger compress thrown in there was my life for about 2 weeks. I was lucky, my son nursed like a champ and ate a lot. He more than double from his birth weight in less than 2 months. He was chunky and my amazing milk from my amazing boobs did that.

Within a few months of having my son I had to grieve, forgive and accept that choice that I made to alter one of the most amazing parts of my body. My son's pediatrician told me at my sons 2 month check up that I created nutritious bio-diesel milk. Then I heard the saying, "I make milk, what's your super power?" I felt a since of pride and joy that I had the most amazing gift of the universe. That I has gone from the gates of vanity to the astonishment of pure nature. My boobs were not meant to be enlarged so that I look a certain way to get a better job. My boobs were natures gift to me as a women to nourish my babies with a complete food that is made for only them.

My naked boobs have been displayed at malls, restaurants, parks, beaches, parking lots and pretty much any where I've been. I am not ashamed to expose my breasts so that my babies drink the sweet milk that is made just for them. Now the once perky breasts are saging and worn but they've fed two boys for two years each. My breasts have taught me how to trust my body and appreciate my beauty.

Diet Change Part 2

I've receive a lot of feedback on our family's diet change. I just wanted to post some of the information that has helped me out. One of the best movies I have ever seen is The Beautiful Truth. This was really an eye opener for my husband and I. I was pretty health conscience before watching this movie but did not do a ton of research so I can honestly now say I was niave to what I thought was healthy. I had heard of MSG but didn't know exactly what it was until I saw this movie. I then proceeding to check out a website http://www.truthinlabeling.org/ which has a document that lists other product names of MSG. This really helped my husband and I look at what was in our house and helped us understand and reread labels on foods.
I get mixed feedback on doing gluten free. The most common response I get is, "Wow, that must be really hard." We did gluten free because of my son and it was a super easy change for home eating. Eating out and at other peoples homes/parties is a bit more challenging but we came up with a game plan. We don't eat out and we bring food with us to everything and every place we go. I checked out a few books from the library and bought the Gluten Free For Dummies book. This really helped get me started. My favorite website for recipes it http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/. I appreciate that someone has done the foot work in experimenting and have had good success with the recipes on this website. We have now been gluten free for 4 months.

My husband and sons still eat meat products. I on the other hand have chosen to go vegan. This is a personal choice for me and my body agrees with it. I still cook eggs and meat for my family. They still eat diary too. I can see that is what they need and I respect that. I mix in quite a few vegan recipes that they all enjoy. My youngest son surprises me and likes almost anything I make.

Another beautiful addition to my life was adding a garden to our home. We live upstairs and have a lanai on the top of the house. With the help of my neighbor I've been able to successfully start a small container organic garden. Her blog is http://akitchengardeninkiheimaui.blogspot.com/. Knowing what seeds to plant, when to plant them, what fertilizer to use as well helpful watering tips helped me get off on the right foot. It's refreshing to see my garden in the morning and be connected to the process of growing your own food. I'm not self sustainable however the little bit we've been able to eat from our garden feels very rewarding. Also it's a great stress release to garden too.

I also connected with several local organic farmers that I buy from directly. It feels great to know where our food is coming from and also support our local farmers. When we sit down at dinner and I can say almost all or all of our dinner is locally grown is feels amazing! I'm also in tuned to watch what it grown seasonally. My next step is to start to buy locally grown coconuts in bulk. I'm excited to learn to open a coconut on my own.
All of this has also saved us money. By buying locally, making most of our food from scratch and growing some of our own it's more work for me but less money that we have to spend. I like knowing what ingredients are in our food too as well as that the ingredients are organic. I look forward to learning more and exploring more recipes.

Family Diet Change

In January 2011 My oldest son was almost 3 1/2 years old and still at a 2 year old speech level. We had him tested and nothing was wrong except his speech was delayed. This caused some frustration as he wanted to do more and I wanted him to say more. We did have long periods of screaming temper tantrums that were quite painful for all involved. I had been reading books, reading online, talking to other mom's and bouncing information off our family chiropractor. Between the ages of 2 to 3 we even participating in a state founded program that had a speech specialist come to our house once a week for one hour. To this point I felt that I was doing everything as a parent but still had a nagging sensation in my gut. The one thing that I hadn't done was make a change in diet. I felt we ate healthy, a lot of organic and whole foods. However I did notice a dramatic change in my son after small doses of sugar and all he ever wanted was pasta and bread. After talking with other moms I thought this was normal. Yet I still had a nagging sensation in my gut. So I started looking online and watched a few documentaries on our society with food and realized the one thing I haven't done is look at food and the effect it was having on my son as well as my family. The next day I called a dear friend who is a Nutritionist and a mom and asked her about my nagging sensation. I wasn't surprised when she said that I may see a change with a change of diet. That night I sat down with my husband and explained what I had been looking into and shared my desire for a change. I really hoped we could do it as a family as my husband and I had gained some unwanted weight in the past year and couldn't seem to shed it. We were also tired, moody and edgy a lot of the times. With all that was at stake, our son being able to possibly communicate, us feeling better and all of us having a chance at a better over all health we decided to do it. We said let's try to go gluten free, no refined sugar and no processed food for 24 hours and see what happens.

24 hours later my oldest son was talking. Talking in full sentences and answering questions. We were floored. That day opened up our eyes. We then and there made a choice to change our overall families diet. It was not a simple process. First was cleaning out our refrigerator, freezer and pantry of everything that contained any gluten, sugar, MSG and had high fructose corn syrup. I then had to go shopping and resupply us with food we could eat. The first few days were a little hairy as we transitioned. Our family chiropractor mentioned to me that it would be harder for my husband and I than for our children because we had more years of this stuff in our system and to be gentle on each other for a month while our bodies detoxed. My mother always says when children get hungry enough they'll eat. I found this to be true. When my son asked for his usual I told we don't have it any more and offered a healthy alternative. With in a day he took the alternative. We saw a dramatic decrease in temper tantrums in the first few days to where they just stopped. His speech sky rocketed and we encouraged him to start up again on potty training and he took to it. With in the first week I wanted to cry at the end of every day seeing that I had a completely different child and he was happy.

People often mention that what I'm doing most be expensive. Well it does cost a little bit more money but it's not impossible to do. We live on a budget and therefore I need to feed a family of four on what we can afford. I looked online, checked out a ton of books from our local library and made some phone calls to people I knew that could help me. I  looked into our local health food store and what I could buy to go further. My favorite has been hooking up with a local organic farmer that I get a huge bag of veggies for super cheap. Recently I found I can order bulk online and get it shipped for free to my house. I had to get creative. Costco was just not going to work for the direction our diet was taking us.
Almost 3 months later my son is teaching himself the alphabet, vowels, potty training and sharing his ideas with us. We recently had a slip up at a birthday party where he had some gluten and it was an immediate reaction of regression followed up with a dew days of chaos. We learned a big lesson: we had found something that was working and it was worth sticking to it.
My husband  lost 11pounds in the first 2 1/2 month. We also stopped arguing as the tension within our bodies was replaced with lightness. My sons are my biggest teachers to search for a solution and follow my gut. Another beautiful thing is I have healed from this too. I have struggled in my life with food. This journey has healed me in that I feel healthy and whole.

Eliaz's Birth

When I found out I was pregnant with my second child I was excited, my estimated due date was Halloween, my favorite day of the year. We tried for a homebirth with my first born. I labored at home for about 24 hours before I decided it was best to go to the hospital. He was born naturally with a little medical assistance however my husband and I really wanted to avoid the hospital and have our second in the privacy of our own home.

We chose a midwife early on who had a lot of experience and wonderful references. My husband was laid off days after I found out I was pregnant. We were scared about not being to afford a Midwife but our friends and family told us to have faith and trust the universe. For our baby shower we had a BBQ on the beach and asked if people wanted to gift us to please donate money for our Midwife. In mid September we had our BBQ and our friends and family helped us pay for almost half of our Midwife. We were blown away with such gratitude. 

My second pregnancy was very beautiful and spiritual. I prepared my mind and body with yoga, exercise, eating well and chasing after my 2 year old son. I saw a chiropractor regularly and this really helped with many common discomforts of pregnancy. When I was about 36 weeks along my chiropractor told me I would deliver about 2 weeks early from my due date. I half hoped he would be wrong as I was still enjoying being pregnant and I needed to get ready for the new babe. That weekend we started getting our birth supplies together. I also ordered my birth kit the Midwife suggested. I was also starting to get cramps and a heavy sensation in my pelvis. We walked about 2 miles every night and I was really feeling it when we walk and said to my husband I think this little guy is going to come out early but he has to wait until next weekend, until I was 37 weeks.

I made it through the week and Friday I had an appointment with my midwife. A wonderful thing happened. Two weeks prior she had moved about 5 minutes from my home where before she was an hour. I was so excited to see her. I told her about all my signs including the conversation with the chiropractor and she checked me and I was dilated. She said it could be any day or a few weeks. Little did I know that the upcoming weekend was going to be a big one.

On Saturday my friend painted my belly with a henna tattoo to prepare for my blessingway party on Sunday. I woke up Sunday at 5am with an extreme sensation to pee. After peeing the contractions started. I called my midwife and she told me to get some rest and call if they got more intense and closer. The day went on and I relaxed, went to grocery store, went to beach and took family pictures, played at the beach, napped, cleaned my house, and had a blessingway party. All this while my contractions stayed at about 7-8 minutes apart and bearable. My Midwife did stop by for a visit mid afternoon to drop off her equipment and checked me out She told me I would have the baby about 1am.

In the late evening things started to get exciting. The contractions  were coming on stronger and as I got my son ready for bed I couldn't wait for him to go to sleep. Finally at 9:30pm I had to get out and walk after walking down the hill from my house I told me husband we better go back and call the midwife. She was there in 5 minutes. We sent my husband to sleep as the pool was all set up and he really needed some rest for the main event. Everything went very quickly from there. The contraction were hard and fast. I prayed, yelled, cried, breathed and surrendered myself to the birthing process. It was absolutely powerful. My Midwife woke my husband around 12:30am and around 1:00am I had to get out of the birthing pool and push because I needed some gravity to help me. I squatted on a birthing stool and hang from my husband's neck pushing and breathing. We saw the baby crowning, the midwife grabbed a pillow for the floor and with the next push my baby flew out of me and into the midwife's hands. We were all shocked and so was our little son who has just entered the world. He gave a strong cry immediately. The first words out of my husband's mouth were "You did it! We did it! We're home!" Eliaz Ahava was born in our home at 1:38am on Monday, October 12th. He was 6lbs 8oz and 3 weeks early.

Another amazing thing was our 2 year old had slept through this all and did wake up until 4:30am. This meant my husband and I had three full hours to snuggle and hold our newborn son before we had to share him with anyone. Also, Eliaz was born on my grandmother's birthday. This is special as my grandmother had 8 children and many grand and great grandchildren. This was the only one of her decedents to be born on her birthday.  Our second son is our Libra, he has brought balance to our family and our lives.

Cloth Diaper Through My Eyes

One of the most common question I receive as a Mom is, "How do I like using cloth diapers?" I love cloth diapers! In 2007 I was pregnant with my first son and I decided to research cloth diapers. I was blown away by the "cloth diapering revolution" that is taking place. There are many makers and options. It's not just a flat diaper and pins anymore. There are some main questions I had to focus on:

• Cost
• Care
• Quality
• User Friendly

When I notice a mom around town using cloth diapers I asked which ones they used, where they bought them from and how they liked them. I also discussed the topic with my midwife and asked for suggestions. When my first son was born I had an idea of what I was going to do however I didn't make a huge investment in diapers. I bought homemade diapers from a local mom that would get me started with my newborn and had spent about $100. The first diapers I used were prefolds with a waterproof cover. We then converted to a pocket all in one diaper, which is a waterproof shell and a soft liner with an insert that you stuff in and use once. We loved these and have used them for 3 1/2 years. We choose to go with a sized diaper and used small, medium and large. I didn't buy them all at once. I buy my diapers on sale and have never paid full price. Black Friday after Thanksgiving and Christmas time there are always great sales. Recently I purchased a few one size pocket diapers and they're very convenient but not my favorite on fit. You do have to invest some money up front. For example is you buy 20 diapers and they're $20 you'll spend $400. This $400 with most likely pay for itself in 4-6 months. A fun thing to do is ask at your baby shower for money towards cloth diapers instead of plastic toys and clothes they'll grow out of in a blink of an eye.

Washing cloth diapers changed my complete way of doing laundry. First I read the directions that came with the cloth diapers and looked into the detergents that were suggested to use. I chose Charlie's Soap because it was affordable, environmentally friendly and it shipped for free to where I lived. This stopped me from buying expensive detergent from the health food store that didn't really work anyways. 3 1/2 years later I'm still using it to wash everything and it's saved me loads of money.

I believe anyone can cloth diaper a baby. Before the 1970's everyone did. With all the diapers available today, cloth diapering could not be easier. Even husbands can do it. I've heard a lot of moms fail to use cloth diapers because of they're husband think it's disgusting. News flash, we all pee and we all poop. Why not give your baby and his or her genitals a great start and save the landfills. My husband needed some instructions and very quickly he and I were on the road to a happy cloth diaper experience.

All in one diapers are super easy to use. When diapers are urinated in you just put them in a dry pail. When soiled you can use a shower adapter for the back of you toilet and hose out the diaper in the toilet and put it too in the dry pail. I bought a trash can with lid from Walmart and use old pillow cases as a liner. When I wash I simply dump the pillow case in the wash and wash it too. Washing cloth diapers changed my complete way of doing laundry. I read the directions that came with the cloth diapers and looked into the detergents that were suggested to use. I chose Charlie's Soap because it was affordable, environmentally friendly and it shipped for free to where I lived. This stopped me from buying expensive detergent from the health food store that didn't really work anyways. 3 1/2 years later I'm still using it to wash everything and it's saved me loads of money.  I hang dry to save the life of my diapers and save energy. The diapers I use dry very fast. However, you can hang shells and put the inserts in the dryer if you need to.

When you find a style that works for you half the fun is picking out colors and seeing them on you baby. Yes, there may be some juggling around but if you can find your own rhythm by experimenting on what works for you, it will be easy for you too.

Food for thought: Mothering Magazine May/June 2010 had a great article dedicated to cloth diapers, it was titled, "The Diaper Dilemma" by Jennifer Margulis. I highly recommend ordering a reprint of it. It estimates that 1 child will produce 5000 disposable diapers from birth to potty training. Check out http://www.mothering.com/.