Balane to Achieve Goals

I have a desire to achieve goals, I always have. As a mother I see now that children need help to learn to achieve their goals. I also notice in a marriage you can have a spouse that sabotages your goals. When I was young I would dream and make lists to see if they were possible. I was usually doing this on my own and my dreams didn't seem realistic because I was a child with out resources. As a young adult I had more resorces and survival mode to help achieve goals. Buy a house, get a new job,  find a boyfriend, lose weight, etc. As I'm getting old and have been married for almost a decade my life goals seem like a heart ache one day and an adrenaline rush the next. Not much balance.

I have moments when I wish my parent's where there for me more when I was youthful and full of energy. I picked a spouse like my parent's who is not capable of being there for me and we have never achieved any "goals" together. We survive on a daily basis. I walk around with my goals hiding in my soul. I occasionally share them with a girlfriend who cheers me.

Currently I'm working on a few big goals like starting a small business so I can contribute monetarily and since I chose a spouse that does not mentally and emotionally support me it can be heart breaking to dream of achieving goals. I know I'm not the only as there are other women out there that I've talk to that go through the same thing. Having you dreams thrown in your face with mean words is heart breaking. I know why this happens and that's another post yet it doesn't make it ok. 

From my vantage point I feel like children whom are supported to make goals and then supported to achieve them will do that as adults. Unfortunately this doesn't make me feel better. My mind and heart tell me words can break my heart but not my soul. My heart will be sore for a couple of days but my soul patiently waits for the heart to heal.